“Confucious say: He who know little, soon tell it!” Here are 100 similar humorous anecdotes by the King of wisdom himself. These are great for sharing at parties or among friends or family
Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick – all gone
Confucius say, bird in the hand is not better than two in the bush
Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around
Confucius say, gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls
Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week
Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman’s leg not find nuts
Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
Confucius say, man with tool in woman’s mouth not necessarily dentist
Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level
Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot
Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean
Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman’s well, often catches crab
Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
Confucius say, electrician get much angry when find shorts in wife’s bedroom¦
Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot
Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up
Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny
Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground
Confucius say, woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
Confucius say, man who kisses girl’s behind, get crack in face
Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all over town
Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts
Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam
Confucius say, learn to masturbate – come in handy
Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey’s lap get hot tip
Confucius say, girl who sit on judge’s lap get honorable discharge
Confucius say, waitress who sit on leper’s lap, keep tip
Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef
Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn
Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard
Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard
Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle
Confucius say, OK for shit to happen – will decompose
Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands
Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk
Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there
Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point
Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker
Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring
Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer – fucking near water
Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom
Confucius say, support bacteria – is only culture some people have
Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump
Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all
Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night
Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke
Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet
Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back
Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service
Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick
Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more
Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack
Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick
Confucius say, man who pull woman’s bra strap, may get bust in face
Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock
Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self
Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self
Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor
Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose
Confucius say, woman who sink in man’s arms, soon have arms in man’s sink
Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod
Confucius say, man who fuck in cemetery may end up fucking dead
Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money
Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time
Confucius say, closed mouth catches no flies, but closed fly catches no mouths
Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed
Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers
